Laughing at the Indian Cricket Team

Indian cricket is headed for a disastrous World Cup and only those who wish to bury their head in the sand can think that they will do well there. The pitches in West Indies are fast and the players (who anyway have a tough time on such pitches) will succumb easily. They will advance (I truly hope so) to the next round by beating the weak teams but they will lose once again to the strong ones and they will find ourselves out and forgotten very soon. So instead of feeling sad, the only thing left for the fans to do is to joke about them. So here goes! The story goes that there was a couple married for quite some time and they had a boy of 5-6 years old. Their relationship was turning sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they thought it was better for them to be divorced than to carry on such a relationship. So they consulted a lawyer. But the big question was who would have the kid. In the hearing in the court it was decided that this choice should be left to their son. So the judge asked "Son, would you like to stay with your mummy?" The kid replied," No, mummy beats me." So the judge asked "Then, would you like to stay with your papa?" The kid replied, "No, papa beats me too." Now the judge was in a dilemma and was not able to decide what to do. After pondering for some time he smiled with the ideas he had in his mind about the child. And he gave the judgment that the kid would stay with Any guesses? Come on I know you can guess this. Ok here is the decision: The judge decided that the kid would stay with the Indian Cricket Team because they never beat anybody. And here are some one liners to pipe up your day: Why do Indian babies cry and complain all the time? They are practicing how to become Indian cricketers when they grow up. What is an handcuffed Indian Cricketer called? A cricketer you can trust. What are the four words that will destroy any Indian batsman? Did you bat today? Why doesnt the crowd blink when Tendulkar goes out to bat? There just is no time until he gets out again. What is the difference between an Indian batsman and an Australian one? 100 runs. What is the difference between batteries and Indian cricketers? Batteries have a positive side. How do you force Indian cricketers to run between wickets? You place food on either end. Yes, I know that some of these jokes are really putting the Indian team down but considering their recent form (excluding the recent two victories against West Indies which I think is more of a fluke than anything else), I felt that I could say such things. I cannot understand how such players such as Ganguly, Tendulkar, Dravid and the rest can let the fans down time and again. Sometimes it seems that they are not really interested in playing and that they gamble away their wicket easily. If that is the case then they should leave and let other more able and willing youngsters take a shot. They will not fare much worse in any case. What will they do? Lose. They lose anyway and to any cricket playing nation in the world!

Party Jokes: Startling But Unnecessary

Here, I focus on a range of items and features that we use in life without giving them a second thought such as Coca Cola, body muscles and holding ones own breath. Though, most of these notes are not fundamentally necessary, they are such that you can use them for a good laugh, at a drinks party or for picking up women or men. 1) Coca-Cola: Did you know that its original colour was green? 2) Mohammed: Did you know that this is the most used name in the entire world? 3) Geographical Letters: Did you know that the name of each of the continents begins and concludes with the exact same alphabet? Do not believe that? Look up Asia, Europe, Africa, America, Antarctica and the rest. 4) Muscle Strength: Did you know that the strongest muscle in the entire body is that one which we use to lick a popsicle? Your tongue. 5) Credit Cards: In the United States, were you aware that each and every person has at least two credit cards? 6) An Antique Machine: The word for an old machine that was once used for writing letters and other documents is the largest word that one can make if they click only on a single row of their computer's keyboard: typewriter! 7) Blink: Men wink at women, but research has found out that the average woman blinks nearly two times more than the average man. 8) Suicide: Even though you might have wondered if it was possible, studies have discovered that it is impossible to kill oneself by simply holding in your breath. 9) Licking: However much you may try, you will never be able to lick your elbows. 10) Sneeze: Try sneezing. People will automatically answer you with a bless you greeting. Have you ever imagined why? Some say that this happens because a sneeze stops the functioning of the heart for a very tiny second. 11) The Blue Sky: Did you know that a pig, no matter how much they try, cannot look up into the sky? 12) Twisting Your Tongue: We have all dabbled with different tongue-twisters in our day. But do you know which is the toughest? Sixth sick sheiks sixth sheeps sick. 13) Ribs: Did you know that you should try not to sneeze too strongly. Why? A very powerful sneeze has the ability to cause a fracture in your ribcage. But, then again, if you try and withhold one, you stand the chance of breaking one of the many blood vessels in your neck or head. This could cause death. 14) Cards: Did you think that the Kings are all just random cards referring to random figures? No. Each one signifies a different king: Diamonds for Julius Caesar, Clubs for Alexander the Great, Spades for David and Hearts for Charlemagne. 15) And finally: Most everyone reading this (Caught You!) are trying to lick their elbows at this exact moment! Conclusion: Most of these are not scientific facts, but they are hilarious, funny and can be used to lighten up the ambience when a conversation has gone dull. Use any and see your popularity rise up to great heights. Visit http://www.gambling-portal.com for more jokes.